Not as it seems
by gundam06serenity
Summary: (full summary inside) One mission, that's all it took, one mission to change it all. He thought he'd been seeing things when he was visiting L2, after all, greif can do that to you. But then, he sees him again at an Oz base...His whole life's been spent t
1. prologue

Not as it Seems

Title: Not as it seems

Anime: Gundam Wing

Rating: pg13

Pairings: ? it's a surprise! You'll have to wait & review & then I'll tell you

Author: gundam06serenity

Summary: One mission, that's all it took, one mission to change it all. He thought he'd been seeing things when he was visiting L2, after all, greif can do that to you. But then, he sees him again at an Oz base...His whole life's been spent trying to avenge him, but, now he's back, and the cause, everything he forced himself to believe in, is falling apart... His team dont know him, dont trust his judgement, he can't trust the doctors, he doesnt know if he made the right decision...When it gets down to it, who will he choose? His so-called friends & team-mates, or his brother & his dream-relationship?

Author's notes: Yay! I'm a haapy person, I'm a happy person! I finally got the first gundam wing dvd box set! Yay dvd! I still havent watched it yet, but..... I decided to post this! I'm kinda getting into Duo angsty stuff at the moment, soooooo.....please bear with me...... I havent forgottern about any of my other fics! Silent, of Vampires and of Neko-jins will both be updated soon! As for the others....erm, well..... I'm working on them....... anyways, please review!

Beta read by:

Prologue: Final Goodbyes:

-Flashback-

"Solo! I got it, Solo! I got the medicin. Everything'll be alright now. The other's are ok, and there's still plenty left for you! Come on, Solo. Solo? Come on, wake up....please...." The five year old boy with wide violet-indigo eyes and long, tangled, messy chestnut brown hair pleaded with the slightly older seven year old boy with dirty blond hair and kind, usually bright green eyes, who lay on the ally floor, proped up against an old box, a raggy, dirty blanket covering him.

"....Du...o? I knew you'd.....do it kid.....You're strong...Didnt think I'd....leave ya.....like that without....a good-by...e did....ya?" He wheezed quietly, coughs racking his too-skiny frame.

It was AC185, L2, the time of the plague. Supposidly Earth-Sphere Alliance soldiers had started it, to 'get rid of the street-rats'. Only the rich could afford the cure. No-hope for a pennyless gang of war-orphened street-rats like them. If it wasnt for Duo, the gang leader's adopted little brother and protagee, they'd all have been long gone by now...

Duo, the only one in their little gang that hadn't caught the plague, had risked his life sneaking into a near-by military camp to 'borrow' the antidote for them. They'd all gotten better, all accept the only one who really mattered, all accept for him....Solo....

"Come on, Solo, every thing'll be alright. I got the medicin. Please, Solo, ya gotta get better! I...I can't do anything without you! Please, Solo....." Duo begged, eyes watering, as he poured the medicin into his surrogant big-brothers mouth.

"Duo...I'm sorry, but....it's too....late.... for me.... You have to.....be strong....for the others.....and....for...me...remember, little brother.....I'll always....be with you....." Solo promised, as Duo started sobbing, clutching at his hand, as though that would stop him from leaving him.

"Dont cry.....remember.....big boys....dont...cry...." Solo wispered, wiping Duo's tears away. "Go....go now... take the others....somewhere safe.... The solders.....will soon.... You have to....get the others....away from here... I'll see you...again sometime....bro...." Solo promised, pushing the sobbing boy away, watching as his little brother ran, gathering the rest of their little ra-tag family, doing as he said, and taking them to safety.

-End of flashback-

"I'm so sorry Solo, I'm so sorry..... If I'd have gotten there eairler.....if I hadn't have left you....I'm so sorry, brother..... But I promise.....I'll make you proud......I'll avenge you, Solo.....I swear it." Indigo-violet eyes glowed faintly in the dark, tears barely contained, as he wispered his promise to the empty bedroom, eyes flashing with regret, determination, anger and promise.

-end of prologue-


	2. Chapter one

Title: Not as it seems

Anime: Gundam Wing

Rating: pg13

Pairings: ? it's a surprise! You'll have to wait & review & then I'll tell you

Author: gundam06serenity

Summary: One mission, that's all it took, one mission to change it all. He thought he'd been seeing things when he was visiting L2, after all, greif can do that to you. But then, he sees him again at an Oz base...His whole life's been spent trying to avenge him, but, now he's back, and the cause, everything he forced himself to believe in, is falling apart... His team dont know him, dont trust his judgement, he can't trust the doctors, he doesnt know if he made the right decision...When it gets down to it, who will he choose? His so-called friends & team-mates, or his brother & his dream-relationship?

Author's notes: Thanks Mithros for reviewing! hands Mithros five-year-old chibi Duo Plushie Please, please review! NOT A DEATH FIC!

Chapter One: Missions & Memories:

The year is AC195. Opereation Meteor, and the gundam pilots first appearence was almost one year ago. The five pilots are now aware of eachother and have banded together, although they do not yet completely trust eachother.

-beepbeepbeepbeep-

"Barton, Winner, Chang, I have just recieved mission data from Dr.J. We leave in one hour" Heero's voice echoed throuought the largish safehouse they were currently staying in, one of Quatre's familie's many properties, this one, on L2.

The five pilots had 'gotten together' three months eairler. They had formed a slightly shakey friendship, but, during missions, working as a team, they were unbeatable.

Heero Yuy, the stotic, strongest member of the group, always following missions to the T. He had started out as the groups leader and was, in many ways, still the one that they all looked to for instruction.

Trowa Barton, the silent, observent, undercover expert of the group. If ever a mission involving under cover work came up, it was almost always givin to the quietest member of the group.

Chang Wufei, the justice-drivin, most anger-fuled and honorable warrior of the group. He always threw himself into battle, fighting for honour, justice, and to protect the weak. He was definatly the most hot-headed of them all.

Quatre Raberba Winner, the heart of the group, the tactition, peacekeeper, and most sensitive of the group. He did all of the groups battle plans, always made sure that they had a half-decent safe house to stay in, and stopped the others from killing eachother at times, well, the others for killing one certain piolet.

Duo Maxwell. They all saw him as the prankster, the jokester, the braided-baka who wanted to play at war with the big boys. The other pilots, whether intentionally or not, looked down on him, even kind-hearted Quatre tired of his inain babble and always too-cheereful attitude, no matter what the situeation. Whatever the others saw him as, he was the sould of the group, the one who kept them all toghther, wether or not they realised it. He was the groups stealth expert, the best when it came to mecanics, and the groups bomb-expert.

It was Duo's idea, for them to share the reasons why they all fought, what they fought for, what they hoped to achieve. No-one took him seriously, but, gradually, he got it out of all of them, when they thought he wasnt listening to them. Heero Fought for peace, he fought because it was what he was trained to do. Trowa fought for his adoptive sister, Cathrine Bloom, he fought for an answer, he fought in hopes of regaining his memory. Quatre fought for his dead-father, for his twenty-nine sisters, and for all of the innocents in the colonies who were dying needlessly. Wufei fought for justice, for honour, for his Clan, and for his dead wife, Long Meiran, or Nataku, as she had called herself.

Duo listened to them, and he understood. He knew them all better than they knew eachother. But did they ever ask him why he fought? Ever question as to why he hid behind the mask, why he wsa so cheereful, why he fought? Did they even see the mask? No. They thought he was just a stupid little boy playing at war. That it was all a joke to him.

He'd listened to Heero after his nightmare's of J's re-training, of his time with Odin Lowe, and had comforted him. He'd comforted Trowa after battle, Quatre when he couldnt sleep because of the soldiers begging, pleading, their dying screams that haunted him. He'd comforted Wufei during his nightmares, slept besides him, always making sure that he was gone before the Chinese boy awoke.

They didnt even notice when he cried out in his sleep, when he hid in his gundam at night, when he spent hours non-stop training by himself, when he went off on solo missions and came back half-dead in the eairly hours of the morning. As long as he was the loud, annoying braided baka at mealtimes, appearing to wake up later than everyone else, as long as he blasted some old rock, punk, metal or goth CD from his room whenever he wanted to train, to sneak out or to be alone, they thought all was fine, and went back to ignoring or complaining about him.

They hadnt even noticed his change in behavior when they arrived on L2, not even Quatre. They'd arrived almost two weeks eairler, after a sucessful mission. The doctores had advised them against returning to Earth for the time being, instead instructing them to hide out on a local colony for a while untill Oz had clamed down their serch a bit. The other four pilots had voted on L2, seeing as military action there was at a minimum, having barely any controal over the poverty-stricken colony, ruled by drugs, prostitution, thieves guilds, street-rats and local shady buisnessmen. Ever since their arrival, Duo had become withdrawn, spending hours in silence, by himself in his room, the libary or in the hanger, staring up out of the safety of DeathSythe's cockpit.

"Duo, there's food in the fridge and money under the vaise in the libary if you need anything while we're gone!"

"Hn. Stay away from my laptop."

"............."

"Maxwell, touch any of my things while I am gone and justice will be delt out upon my return!"

Each of the pilots called out their own good-bye as they left, not sparing the self-proclaimed Shinigami a second glance, as the closed the door loudly behind them, leaving him to his own devices.

"Well Solo, it looks like it's just you and me again. It's been, what, ten years this day since we went our seperate ways. I miss you, bro. I'll keep fighting for you, no matter what. I'll get them, for spreading that plague, for killing you. How about I visite all our old haunts for old times sake, bro? It's funny, really, now I think about it. The Maxwell Masacre, and your death, the exact same day, barely two months apart. I'm sorry I didnt visit last year, bro, I wouldnt have this year, either, if it wasnt for the good of the mission. I'm sorry, but you see, it's just too much. Too many bad memories, bro, I'm sure you'd understand, just like you did in the old days" Duo wispered, as he dawned his battered black leather trenchcoat, re-ajusting his silver cross, preist shirt and black troussers and black, slightly scuffed shoes, pulling his black baseball hat down over his sad, slightly haunted, wistful violet-indigo eyes.

-end of chapter one-


	3. Chapter two

Title: Not as it seems

Anime: Gundam Wing

Rating: pg13

Pairings: ? it's a surprise! You'll have to wait & review & then I'll tell you

Author: gundam06serenity

Summary: One mission, that's all it took, one mission to change it all. He thought he'd been seeing things when he was visiting L2, after all, greif can do that to you. But then, he sees him again at an Oz base...His whole life's been spent trying to avenge him, but, now he's back, and the cause, everything he forced himself to believe in, is falling apart... His team dont know him, dont trust his judgement, he can't trust the doctors, he doesnt know if he made the right decision...When it gets down to it, who will he choose? His so-called friends & team-mates, or his brother & his dream-relationship?

Author's notes: Thank-you for all the reviews!!! Yay! Chibi Solo plushies for everyone!

Last Chapter:

_"Well Solo, it looks like it's just you and me again. It's been, what, ten years this day since we went our seperate ways. I miss you, bro. I'll keep fighting for you, no matter what. I'll get them, for spreading that plague, for killing you. How about I visite all our old haunts for old times sake, bro? It's funny, really, now I think about it. The Maxwell Masacre, and your death, the exact same day, barely two months apart. I'm sorry I didnt visit last year, bro, I wouldnt have this year, either, if it wasnt for the good of the mission. I'm sorry, but you see, it's just too much. Too many bad memories, bro, I'm sure you'd understand, just like you did in the old days" Duo wispered, as he dawned his battered black leather trenchcoat, re-ajusting his silver cross, preist shirt and black troussers and black, slightly scuffed shoes, pulling his black baseball hat down over his sad, slightly haunted, wistful violet-indigo eyes._

Chapter Two: What the hell?!

'I wonder how much our old haunts have changed, Solo, do you know? Did you follow me like you said, or are you still watching over the old gang? I wouldnt blame you if you were, I would have, in your place. I promise, I'll go visit them later, Solo, but first, I've got to visit the others...' Duo thought, as he made his way down the familliar streets, the streets that he'd memorised before he could talk, before he'd gotten a name, an identity, a family.

He came to a halt. Looking up sadly, he took in what was before him, a sight he hadnt seen in almost ten years; Piles of rubble lay in heaps, burnt wood, stone, the remainders of a wooden cross, blackened by lang dead flames. All that was left of the Maxwell orphanage.

'Father Maxwell, Sister Helen..... It's been a while, ne? Maxwell's little daemon has returned. I go by Shinigami now. Little death, little daemon, they're gone; I am the god of death now. I'm really sorry, Sister Helen, I tried. I tried to be a good person; I dont lie, I'm fighting for the colonies, I used to pray all the time, but... So much blood stains my hands... I cannot bring myself to believe in a god that would allow such carnage, that would sit back and allow children to starve to death, that would allow humans to oppress other humans like this, that would allow children to fight this war, to kill, to go into a battlefeild day after day, never knowing if they'll live to see another day... I always admired you both, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, for believing. You believed untill the very end. You believed in your god, you believed in the Catholic Church, you believed in saving a bunch of orphens, you believed in a worthless street rat, you believed that a street rat would come through for you, you believed that if we did as they asked, they'd leave... You believed in me... I did as they asked, but they burned it down anyway... I brought the mobile suit the terrorists wanted, and they burnt it all down, with you, Sister Helen, and Father Maxwell, and all the other children still inside... You died in my arms Sister Helen, giving me Father Maxwell's cross... I promised I'd avenge you, all of you... But I promised Solo first... Who is my enmy? I'm a mobile suit pilot now, father Maxwell, I kill others for a living. Would you have forgivin me? Or would you have condemmed me, as the colonys have? I think you would have understood. I cant say I've made new friends, but I'm trying, Father, truely I am. Even if I cannot survive this war, I can make surethat they do. On that I promise you, all of you...' Duo thought, turning away from one of his first homes, looking around, blinking back the tears in his eyes.

'It's just as I remembered it. Same trash-covered streets, same derilict buildings, same run-down colony run by bent buisnessmen, same street gangs with new leaders and... different homeless kids' Duo smilled down at the little blond girl, no older than three or four, with wide green eyes that had bunped into him, catching her before she fell, eyes wide in fear, clutching a small raggy teddy bear.

"Hey there little one. It's ok; You shoudnt be out here without someone to look out for you, ya know. I know that from past experiances" Duo smiled, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small candy bar that Quatre had tried to take off of him, pushing it into her small, trembling grubby hands, along with a few crumpled credits. Wide-eyed, she looked up into his eyes, blinking.

"I've been there, too, kiddo. Where's your gang? You do have one, dontcha? It's not safe for you not to have one at your age..." Duo crouched down, tilting his head to the side.

"Hey, get away from her!" A young boy shouted, running at them, throwing himself protectively infront of the little girl. He only looked to be about six, seven years of age. He had long, tangled dirly black hair and angry, protective, feirce indigo eyes.

-Flashback-

"Why dont ya pick on someone your own size?!" A six year old Solo shouted, knive held stedily in his hand, croughing defensively infront of the curled-up, bruised and bleeding figure that was his four year old brother.

"What, like you shrimp? We havent gotta problem with you, kid; just hand the pretty little slut over, and you can walk outta here in one peice." The fifteen year old boy sneered, as his two friends and he advanced.

"No-one talks about my little brother like that!" He shouted, lanching himself at them without a second-thought to his own safety.

-End of Flashback-

"Zwei(1), what have I told you about wandering off and talking to strangers! There're bad men out here!" He hissed down and Zewi, who looked close to tears.

"I-I'm sorry Eine(2)! But I got lonely, and he was just standin here, and he looked sooooooo sad; I wanted to see what was wrong! When I'm sad, you always play with me, and I get happy again! I just wanted to help..." She explained, smiling shyly at Duo.

-Flashback-

"Duo! What were you thinking, wandering off on your own like that?! How many times have I told you, it's not safe to be by yourself out here." Solo wispered, as he washed the trembling boy's knee, wiping the blood and grit from the small gash.

"I-I'm sorry Solo! It's just that I got lonely waiting all by myself, and then I got scared...I didnt think you were coming back..." The violet-eyed boy's voice trembled, eyes welling with tears.

"It's ok, sssh, it's ok. Oh Duo, never, ever, ever think that! I'll always come back for you!" Solo wispered, hugging the trembling boy who clutched desperatly at him.

"Promise?"

"I Promise you, kid. Me and you're gonna be together forever. Where would shinigami be without his sidekick, hey, little death?" Solo teased, tickling the now laughing boy.

-End of flashback-

"Hey kid, you should really keep a closer eye on her; If it's anything like it used to be back when I was a kid around here, it isnt safe for a kid her age, let alone a pretty little girl like that" He smiled down at her, as she blushed and giggled "to be allowed to wander on her own. You should think about joining up with a gang if you're not already with one; They're good protection."

Eine narrowed his eyes, trying to decide whether or not he was trustworthy.

"Hey Enie, look, look! He gave me this! I didnt even steal it or nothin!" Zewi excitedly showed the wide-eyed boy the candy bar and the credits.

"Whatcha want? We dont got nothing." He said, suspitious of Duo's kindness.

"I dont want anything, kid. She just....reminded me of someone I once knew..." Duo trailed off.

"You looking for someone? Me and Eine know lots and lots of people!" Zewi asked excitedly, latching herself onto Duo's leg, obviously deciding that she liked him.

"Zewi!" Eine hissed, scowling at Duo's amused smile. " You knew here?"

"No... I used to live here. Just passing through now, though." Duo looked back at the ruins that had once been the Maxwell orphanage.

"Used to live here, huh? Why the hell'd you wanna come back to L2 if ya got the chance ta leave, huh?" Eine asked, still glaring at him.

"Didnt have a choice." Duo wispered, eyes clouding with a mixture of anger, sorrow and regret.

Eine seemed to freeze for a moment. "Y-you used to like here? As in, here, at the Maxwell orphanage?!"

"Yup. The orphanage, and the streets for a few years." Duo confermed absentmindedly.

"When?" Eine demanded to know.

"Hm? Oh, about ten years ago. Before your time, kid." Duo replied, smiling as Zewi started to play with his coat.

"....Are you....were you... Little Death? Duo?" Eine asked, voice barely above a wisper. Duo froze.

"What?! Who...Who said that?" He asked sharply.

"Are you?" Eine pushed, eyes shining.

".....No, not anymore..... I used to be, once.... I.... It's Shinigami now" Duo smiled down at the wide-eyed look Eine gave him. " Now, who's been talkin' 'bout me? I know sure as hell you're to young ta remember me."

"oh...my...god! You're really him, arent you? I mean, you're you! Everyone knows about you! You're, like, my hero! All of the older kids talk about you like you're a god or something! All of the gangs know about you! Come on, you've gotta come and meet the rest of the gang!" Eine excitedly squeeled, tuggin on Duo's hand, dragging him in a familliar direction; The direction to his and Solo's old gang's place.

Eine and Zewi excitedly dragged him through the crowds of homless kids and teens, none older than twenty one, doding those who leered at Zewi, shouting hurried greetings to those that they recognised.

Duo just smilled slightly, allowing himself to be dragged after the two younger ones, looking around every now and again. 'Just as I remembered it.....'

Duo's head shot round, focusing on the end of one of the allyways, freezing. A blurr of Blond and bright green. "Solo?!" Duo wispered, as the tall figure, hidden in shadows turned, dissapearing as fast as it had appeared. "Solo!"

Thank-you Reviewers:

Chapter one review thank-yous:

Mithros: Yay! You're one of my fav reviwers! And fanfic authors! You'd better update soon! You've reviewed, like, all of my stuff! Yay you! hands Mithros five-year-old Chibi Solo & Duo promising plushies 

Michelle: Sorry, that wasnt very clear. It was kinda a dream-flashback, and he was in his room. Uh-huh. I'm kinda in an angsty-story writing mood. thanks for the review! hands Michelle sad Chibi Solo plushie 

Blackland Fire Dragon:........ erm, I guess it's kinda similar to my 'what if' story which never got past the prologue... thanks for the review! hands Blackland Fire Dragon psychic chibi Duo plushie 

ZmajiGoddess: Yay! glad you like it! Thanks for the review! hands ZmajiGoddess thoughtful Chibi Solo plushie 

Chapter Two Thank-you Review responses:

phoenix1 : I havent been writing nearly enough in the past few months... I've been getting lazy & been getting destraced by certain other authors (pointedly looks at fieryicicles) who havent been updating enough. thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it so far! hands Phoenx1 Bad Chibi Wufei plushie 

Windy River : Wow.....a whole seven words! That's lots for you! tehehe, thanks for the review! hands Windy River Chibi Duo, Solo, Heero & Wufei plushies Yay! You've reviewed loads of my fics! Thank-you sooooooo much!

Mithros: Thanks again!!!! Yay! You just keep reviewing, dontcha? thank-you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hands Mithros Chibi Zewi and chibi Eine plushies Erm, I think I've given you just about every other type of plushie before....

fieryicicles : Spork of doooooom! YAY!!!!!! GRRR, UPDATE DAMN YOU! Tehehe, you've like one of my fav authors!!!! You have to update ! I am! Please?! PRETTY PWEASE? Pretty please with naked Treize-kun and Zechs-Koi on top?....... If that doesnt work, nothing will! hands fieryicicles pleading chibi Duo and Solo plushies 

ZmajiGoddess: Yay! Another review! Thank-you! hands ZmajGoddess Chibi happy Trowa plushie 

Wufeisgirl: Hi! Thanks for the review! If you're still interested in beta'ing this story, you can email me at webmaster shinigamirocks. zzn. com (without the spaces) if not, thank's for the review!!!! thank-you! hands Wufeisgirl hentai Wufei plushie 

(1) Zewi means two in german

like Duo and Solo :)

(2) Eine means one in german


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